HOW TO FIND JOY IN TIMES OF DIFFICULTY.
Alright, so it has been ages since I’ve written, an unacceptably looong time. I’ve been thinking about writing, mulling posts over in my head, feeling so inspired and totally genius but at the same time entirely lacking discipline and motivation and so, I fell off the blog wagon . What’s my excuse? What have I been up to all this time? 5 months to be exact……what have I been up to in my blog free, 5 months off? Well, making babies for one… We added a new little gremlin to the mix, Sept 4th my second daughter was born and presently I’m a stay at home zombie, but I surprise myself and still manage to function between nursing all night and 5 am toddler wake ups, so I’m actually a cross between a Zombie and Ninja. I’m a Zinja or a nimbie…no definitely a Zinja.
This brings me to the topic of this post. Life has been crazy here in Chateau-My-Life. We have a two-year-old dictator that storms around the house ordering people around and a boob-vampire two-month-old who is for the most part chill and easy…as long as she’s attached to me chest. So last night I was knee-deep in the momma juggling act (which looks just like its sounds) and involves dashing madly between two insanely demanding humans who want YOU and ONLY YOU and will scream themselves to sleep if they can’t have YOU and ONLY YOU.
So there I am jammed in mini-me’s bed amidst 10,000 cuddlies and a host of creepy life-like dolls, nursing one daughter and reading a story to the other when all I really wanted to be doing was SLEEPING myself. Frustrated and annoyed I read Angelina Ballerina for the 10th time in a tone as monotonous and dreary as the teacher guy from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, obviously attempting to convey my boredom to the insanely astute and empathetic children beside me. Then BANG in that silly and immature moment (YES moms are not perfect, we are just humans like everyone else) I had a mini epiphany. If I could just change my mind about this situation it would not be so bad at all. If I could enjoy this moment, be happy to be here in bed with my loving children, be happy to be loved and needed and wanted, if I could stop feeling like it is torture and start feeling like it’s fun…it could be fun. Now I am not preaching, these were really the thoughts that went through my head. So I perked my tone up a bit and stopped feeling so miserable and sorry for myself and tried to feel a little gratitude and the whole affair still lasted another million and a half hours, and I was still crazy tired but the difference being I didn’t spend a million and a half hours being miserable.
I’m too tired to sum up or conclude. My brain is fried… You connect the dots together in neat summary lines…I wrote something…..that’s all you get. Now go out and change the world…or at least your mindset =)